ONE - Welcome to The M Word.
The "M" word we are referring to is meningioma. It's a bit of a tongue twister, and also a forbidden word that I sometimes never want to speak of again, hence why we will be referring to it as "The M Word". This was the type of tumour that I was diagnosed with in June 2021 at 29 years old.
I am so glad that you have stumbled upon this blog, or have had someone bring it to your attention. Even if you aren't in a similar situation as I am or was, I know that there will be something that you can take from these posts!
Starting this blog feels like a big undertaking at this point in time, as there is so much that has happened since the day we found out about my tumour. I want to give you a little information about myself, why I have chosen to do this, what to expect, and how to navigate from post to post.
Why Have I Started This Blog?
Most importantly, I want to give someone who is going through a similar situation, a little bit of light in what can feel like a very dark time. I want to be able to give them somewhere to turn when they are having another "bad day" as there will be many. I want to provide comfort and share a couple things I have learned along the way.
I want to help in any way possible. At the end of each post I will provide a couple "life lessons" that helped me at that specific time, but also some "Medical Suggestions" I have learned about the medical world throughout this journey, with hopes that you can have a smoother, more effective experience than I have.
This is helping me more than anyone. I have only went through this once, and some days I never want to think about it again. As I slowly go through it, I relive all those scary thoughts and feelings again, but now am able to see that its going to be okay. I'm finding it helpful to get my story out there so it can help even one person, but I've realized this is what "healing" looks like for me.
Housekeeping
I will be posting hopefully once a week once I get through the jist of my story. I will continue to post about how my brain tumour effects every day life, and how sometimes I forget about it all for a second. I will be providing a ton of content on how this whole journey has impacted my friends, family, and those around me (my sisters amazing post is up now, so please give it a read and some love; I still can't read it without crying).
Numbered Posts
I am almost hitting the three month mark post-op. But I am taking my time to go through and write about the journey from start to finish. Therefore, I will put a number at the start of each post if you are wanting to read through in chronological order. As an example, you will see ONE, TWO, THREE, and so on and so fourth at the start of each post. I will also write LOVED ONE before each post that shares a perspective from a loved one of mine. Please be patient with me; screen time is still not my friend and I am writing as much as I can while also entertaining a toddler.
Personal Background
Before you dive into reading I want to tell you a little about myself. I am 29, a mother of a 2 year old daughter named Wrenley (Wren, Roo) and married to my high school sweetheart Tanner. I have a sister (Carmen), brother in-law (Joel), sister in-law (Mackenna), and a brother in-law (Harrison), and two amazing nephews who are 3 and 5. I also have two loving parents and two amazing in-laws.
My parents and in laws would move mountains for Tanner and I and we are so grateful to have them (I guess it helps that we have the cutest daughter in the world, and they love to spend as much time as possible with her)! I have been around Tanner's family for almost 15 years, and my sister in-law is one of the most amazing people I have met. She's always there, from helping us clean up high school parties her brother threw, to coming to our house to take care of Wren while I healed. My brother in-law has also been around for a long time, and him and Wren are becoming quite the pair. I have a very close extended family on both sides and they play a pivotal role in this journey. I can't say enough how much I love them all.
My childhood consisted of.... gymnastics. I started gymnastics when I was 7 and fell in love with it. There, I found some of my best lifelong friends and it shaped me into the person I am today. I excelled as a provincial level gymnast training up to 16 hours a week, and finally hung up my gym suit just before I went to college. It's crazy to say out loud, but gymnastics plays a big role in how I have dealt with this tumour. Growing up in gymnastics you learn to be very disciplined, determined, and brave. Learning a new skill isn't fun or easy, and fairly nerve racking, which is similar to life after knowing you have a large brain tumour. I find myself reverting back to the same mindset that I had during my training. I find myself thinking "you just need to do it, no matter how scared you are", "just try your best", "practice makes perfect", "you can get through this, just take it one move at a time", "you got this, "it will all be worth it in the end". These phrases play over and over in my head, similar to the years prior when trying to master the sport of gymnastics. I have never been an anxious person, but post surgery, anxiety is my biggest obstacle at this point. I have participated in countless gymnastics competitions and if it wasn't for them, I wouldn't have the tools to deal with the anxious thoughts and feelings I'm currently facing daily.
Once gym was over, I went on to college for my ECE, and then University to become a teacher, where I met some of my best friend (like matching tattoo, and stand in my wedding type of girls). I have a full time permanent position, and am in my 5th year of teaching. I am one of the lucky ones to say I love my job. Some days are more challenging than others as a teacher, but when I wasn't able to start the school year this year because I needed to heal more, my love for the job became even more apparent when I was sitting at home on September 7th, wishing I could be at school to welcome my new students.
Now that you have a little understanding of who I am as a person and what has shaped me, I'm hoping that it will make the following posts a little more relatable.
**Reminder: Posts have a number at the beginning to help you read in order :)
Please feel free to share this blog (by word of mouth, social media, etc.) with anyone and everyone in hopes that it lands in the hands of someone who needs it. Please leave a direct message, subscribe, or shoot me an email to say hi! Enjoy and read on :)
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