Time for Surgery

SEVEN - It's time for the surgery.

While we drove down to London it wasn't an overly "chatty" ride. Reality was setting in for both of us, and I don't think either of us knew what to say. Tanner gave his usual jokes here and there and tried to keep things light and keep a smile on my face, but again my mind was racing. We checked into our hotel where we would stay for the night to ensure we would be on time the following day to get this process started. That night in the hotel we hung out, ordered pizza, and watched some TV. Tanner is a night hawk and knew he would be spending a decent amount of time in the hotel room so he also brought his Xbox. I remember trying to fall asleep that night was tough, and I'm not sure if I ever fell into a deep sleep. The next day we needed to be at the hospital around 7:00 am, so we had multiple alarms set.

Around 6:30 am the next morning I woke to my alarm and started getting ready to head to the hospital. I remember getting up and straightening my hair knowing this would be the last time I did this for a very long time. This was a bittersweet moment, knowing I was that much closer to surgery, but also that much closer to hopefully putting this all behind us. We loaded up all my stuff and we were headed to the hospital.

When we arrived and I was registered, it was time for Tanner to say his goodbyes and he wasn't allowed to go any further. That was a hard goodbye, but I knew I would see him after I was done. The purpose of today was to have an embolization, which entailed cutting off as much of the blood supply that was serving the tumour. I was prepped and waiting, and within an hour of checking in, I was headed to the OR.

The OR is such a crazy place. I remember it seeming like it was its own little city. A ton of people were in there and they all had their own job to do to make sure everything went smoothly. I was talking to my anesthesiologist and he was explaining what he was doing and what I could expect. He asked my what my favourite alcoholic drink was, and I answered with any type of vodka drink (remembering this was an odd conversation). Once I was prepped and ready to go, he placed the mask on my face and said when I felt like I had had 5 vodka drinks, to close my eyes and relax (aha it all made sense now).

The embolization took close to three hours and I came out feeling like I had a slight hangover (I wished I could have enjoyed those vodka drinks first). I was headed back to the neuro ward to be watched overnight and wait for surgery the next day. Tanner came to visit that night, but he had to sign up for a time slot because the ward of 8 patients was only allowed to have one visitor at a time. He brought me dinner and again we kept everything as light and normal as possible. While Tan was there we talked with my surgeon, who was happy with the outcome of the embolization. He said that they were able to cut off the majority of the blood supply that was connected to the tumour. We were thrilled with the results, but it made the surgery that much closer and real. Tan and I said our goodbyes, and decided to make a "code word" so that once I was out of surgery I could say the code word to show him that everything was okay. This was an idea from a friend who had also had a similar situation. Tan decided our "code word" would be "jamboree in the hills" (this was our first ever country concert that we went to together). He left, which again was one of the hardest goodbyes. I now wouldn't see anyone until after surgery and the fear was setting in. Even though there was a ton of fear, there was also a lot of curiosity. What would have happened if this wasn't caught? Something worse? Would I actually be able to live a life without a constant migraine? In all honesty, if there was a chance I would be able to, anything was worth it! I was tired of missing out on things and living in chronic pain.

The morning of surgery was here. If you have ever been in any sort of shared room in a hospital you know sleep is limited. There is always something going on and "rounds" happen around 6:30 am. I was greeted by a team of about 8 residents that are all preparing to become doctors each morning I was in the hospital. Some mornings it's not so nice to wake up to 8-10 doctors staring at you! They would be lead by a head doctor that gave them a run down on my case and what I could expect throughout the day, and answered any of my questions at that time.

Once they had moved onto the next patient I was met with nurse after nurse, to do things like prepping IV lines to my 100th neuro exam. This is when they ask you to do multiple motions and ask silly questions like, what do you do to a banana before you eat it? I swear they did these about every 30 minutes. I had got to the point where I was reciting the questions and answering them as soon as they walked in the room, because I knew they were coming! The odd time they would throw in a new question (which was always appreciated, such as how many sides are on a triangle haha).

Right before I was wheeled down they put small circular stickers on the left side of my head/forehead, these were "markers" to assist the surgeon at the beginning of the surgery. I was wheeled down by the sweetest nurse who assured me that my surgeon was a "perfectionist" and one of the best. Given everything that was happening, that one comment seemed to put me at ease. I was wheeled to the pre-op room and remember hearing nurses chatting and laughing, which also put me a little bit more at ease.

I think at this point I was in shock and wasn't really thinking about what was about to happen and the severity of it. I was avoiding all surgery thoughts! I was most worried about what Wren would think of me when I saw her, would she be scared? Mommy was going to look and have to act quite differently for a long time and I didn't want her to be scared of me (this was one of my biggest fears throughout the whole process). Let me tell you, little ones are resilient and don't judge, I hope she can look back at this situation, and even this blog, when she is older and realize how brave, loving, and caring she was without even knowing it. If there is one thing I want her to learn from this all of this, is that everyone is fighting their own battle that others may not know about, and that being kind and loving of everyone is most important.

It was my turn, I was up. It was about 8:00 am and I was wheeled into the OR room. I was greeted by the tiny village of people that would be in the OR room to ensure that everything ran as smoothly as possible! This time I had a new anesthesiologist, who was also great. He added humour to a scary time and assured me that everything would be okay. Once I was prepped, my surgeon came into the room. He asked me how I was feeling and confirmed again that he was extremely happy with how the embolization went and asked me if I had any questions. I had two. I had had two scans previous to surgery to check for any other tumours within my body, but never heard any results. I asked, did the rest of the scans come back clear, to which he said yes! I then asked, how much hair are you going to take? He said he would keep as much as he possibly could, but he liked to take as much as he needed to try to lower the risk of infection post-op. I remember thinking, dammit. My hair was never anything all that great, but I mean no girl likes to shave her head! Once he had answered my questions I once again had the anesthetic mask put on my face. The anesthesiologist said, "Blink two times when you feel sleepy". I will never know if I actually did or not.

Once I was done surgery, I remember being woken up and seeing my surgeon while he said, "Braunston how are you feeling? You did great and we got it all". I remember just shaking my head yes, and then dozing off again. The surgery was about 7 hours and the surgeon was able to call Tanner after and say that the surgery went well and was considered "uneventful". Tanner came to visit that night, I don't know what time or even what he talked about. All I remember is him asking for the "Code Word" and I could see panic in his eyes. I had my head wrapped and wasn't overly sure if this surgery had effected my cognitive abilities. I looked at him and said "Jamboree in the Hills". We both smiled!

LIFE LESSONS:

When you say your vows on your wedding day, mean them! I know that sounds a little crazy, like obviously everyone takes their vows seriously. But life can test you. "Through sickness and in health" is a loaded sentence. That sentence encompasses a lot, a sickness or injury is not easy to deal with, but it's a hell of a lot easier when you have your person!

MEDICAL SUGGESTIONS:

1. Nurses do not get paid enough, nor do I think they ever will sadly. The care I received from all of my nurses was phenomenal. They are everything. They were there in seconds to help with literally ANYTHING I needed. One nurse was brushing my hair before I went home and trying to wash it so that I felt pretty/confident enough to leave my hospital room after a couple tears when I first saw my hair was gone-like come on!

2. Surgeons - they are a different breed. The skill they have isn't comparable to anything else in this world. The precision they have, and the time they take, to solely help others is astonishing. They save lives and I could never repay my surgeon enough for what he has done for me. It's not until you need nurses and surgeons that you really realize how lucky we are to live in Canada, and also that we have these talented people at our beck and call. Count your blessings, and appreciate these individuals to the fullest.

P.S I am slowly returning to work so posts may be a little more delayed for a while.