NINETEEN
With my MRI done and over with, I try to regain some focus and perspective. Although I can't control the outcome of the MRI, I can control how I spend my time between scans. I am trying to get back to a place that is happy and as care free as I can be in these times of uncertainty, and soak in every second I am presented with. As yesterday was again one of those "bad" days. Today is a new day, and one of my favourite days of the year, Wren's birthday!
I know every mothers eyes start to well up when they think about their babies growing up, but this year I didn't even try to hold back my tears. I look back at this day a year ago and was in a place I never thought I would have been. I had just shaved my head, and wasn't able to give wren the birthday I was hoping/planning for. Although there is yet again another dark cloud looming as I wait for results, I am determined to make her birthday more special this year, because she deserves everything and more. She will never understand how she has helped me throughout this last year. I honestly think she has helped me more in this last year than I have in her 3 years in total. She truly is my whole entire world. This blog serves as a way for me to get my feelings down on paper and mentally and physically heal from brain surgery, but I also hope that one day I can show her and she can read. I hope it is something that allows her to see how much positivity, humour, and strength she has brought to us, along with a side of sass. If I could tell her anything on her 3rd birthday it would be...
Dear Wrenley,
Where has the time gone? It feels like just yesterday that we were bringing you home from the hospital. July 15th, 2019 was again one of the most magical days of our lives. As scared as we were, we knew that you would be everything we could have ever wanted and more. Your prolonged entrance to the world instantly made us realize that our world would now revolve around you. You have challenged us in every way, and we couldn't be more grateful, and thankful for the light you have brought us since the moment you were born. We have learned that love really does come with no limits.
Over the last year we looked to you for laughter and love, and that you have provided us with. You never seem to amaze us with your ever-growing vocabulary, but also your sense of compassion, your fierceness, and above all your endless impromptu "I love you's". I love the little girl you are becoming and the strength and determination I see in you already. I love when you ask to "snuggle" and can instantly feel your love when you give me a hug. This past year hasn't been easy for our household, but you are the reason we were able to hold it all together, I love you so much it hurts! Today is your day and I hope your day is filled with love and laughter, lots of gummies, chips, and a couple timbits!
Love,
Mommy
P.S. "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine..."
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