A Mother’s Perspective

LOVED ONE - A mothers perspective.

My name is Sherry Brown, mom of Braunston and her older sister Carmen. Nana of three little ones Ryker, Keller, and Wrenley.

It was June 2, 2021 and I was on the floor happily playing dolls with my two year old granddaughter, Wrenley. Our visit was to be a short one, as her mommy was having a CT scan. I was a little nervous, but more excited that a new doctor was finally putting a plan into action for Braun's migraines. The CT scan was to rule out any large issues, and hopefully find the cause of these migraines that have been plaguing her since her early teens.

I knew the time of the scan, but time was ticking on and I started to feel a real sense of dread. I remember thinking it was taking too long. Finally, my phone rings. It’s Braunston saying she can’t leave until she speaks with a doctor. Holding it together, I said, “Maybe it’s routine”, not really believing my own words (and I could hear the worry in her voice).

Hanging up, I dropped to the floor and prayed to God, and then to my dad, to take care of his Brauny. Looking across the room was Wrenley playing away, but I pulled her into my heart and cried. Whatever it is please God take me, let me do this journey, not this wee girls mommy, please!

Minutes later the phone rings, it was Braun FaceTiming again. I knew right away something was really wrong. I was looking into the blue eyes of my baby girl, pleading for good news. With the news of the tumour being delivered, all I wanted was for it to not be true, and hope I would wake up from this nightmare. Worst of all she is all alone. Through tears she tells me “Tanner is on his way”. I have never felt more helpless in my life. As a mom I wanted her in my arms now! Armed with such little information, what could I say to her? I knew she was thinking about her own little family, wondering if the doctors could help her, thinking about her sister, her dad. All these questions would be answered in the months to come.

With my emotions raging, I was asking myself "why is this happening". My baby girl that has spent her young life always doing the right thing. Doing kind things for others and pushing herself to obtain her goals. She always wanted to be a teacher and achieved just that, bought a home, had married her highschool sweetheart Tanner, and a year later gave us this sweet gift of Wrenley. Why was this happening? There was no answer to that question, and I really needed to let it go. So I took my clues from my strong courageous daughter, had our hugs, cried our tears, and then put 1 foot in front of the other so we could tackle this head on.

I now asked myself how could I help. It was my turn to take charge and be a positive spirit. Knowing my Braunston, our little "list writer", I figured I could reduce her stress and tackle that "list" and be there to watch Wrenley.

During this time the main goal was to keep things as normal as possible with upcoming surgery, appointments, and scans. To find joy in small moments, and not spend that time worrying about the next appointment. The latter is something I struggle with, but I’m going to sneak out for a professional to give me some strategies to deal with those emotions positively.

I’m just a mom like millions of others out there. This experience changes you, but the blessings are many. My advice is to seek out that person that you can talk to about your fears and hold you when you cry. That person for me was my sister. She is my everything - my rock, my heart. She dropped everything and was by my side two hours after the news. She took charge when I couldn’t, she updated my mom (Braunston‘s Nana) and my sweet brother, and rallied the troops. She truly just let me vent with no judgment. Appreciate that people will reach out and help you at your time of need.

The journey through the initial news, the surgery, and the recovery has been stressful on our family, but it reminds me to count my blessings every day. The first blessing being the strength and determination of our sweet daughter. Second, that we live in Canada and that our healthcare system provides us with amazing doctors at our time of need. Third, that we have Tanner as our son-in-law - his love and humour is the perfect match for Braunston and her journey. And finally, my family, and Tanners family for unconditional love and support, who all have been moving mountains to help.

Our journey may be long but as Braunston would say, one day at a time, and treasure every moment. So that is what we will do.