TWENTY FIVE
Well, another year has come and gone and June 16, 2023 marks two years since I had my meningioma tumour removed. The day came and went has it had the year before and everything was extremely normal, which is exactly what we wanted/hoped for! Although the day went smoothly and my grade 5’s kept me extremely busy, the memories of that day still played in my mind. I remember walking in and having to say goodbye to Tanner, but I also remember not being as scared as I probably should have been. I think I was still in a state of shock. I remember feeling extremely alone, because ever since I received the new of the tumour, I always had someone right there beside me. I remember getting signed into the hospital, which I had done a handful of times before for previous appointments leading up to surgery. I remember getting prepped for surgery and the anesthesiologist asking me what my favorite alcoholic drink was. Him telling me that it was soon going to feel like l was a couple vodkas deep and that I was going to have a great sleep. I remember asking before I went under about a previous full body CT scan to ensure that there were no other tumours in my body, and as soon as my surgeon said yes, I then put the mask on and was quickly out.
I remember waking up and everything feeling very blurry and a little groggy but was happy to hear that everything went as planned. I remember closing my eyes and then waking up and feeling not too bad given the previous 12 hours. My one eye was swollen shut but I was assessed every thirty minutes for the next 48 hours and was assured that all my symptoms were normal.
I remember Tanner hiding in my room as the nurses turned a blind eye to how long he had been there, and slowly getting up and moving. I also remember feeling extremely scared when they told me I could go home after only 48 hours. I remember coming home and seeing Wren, and that is when I truly understood when healthcare professionals say that people really do heal faster when they are at home.
When I received the news of my tumours (meningioma and pituitary gland) I remember telling myself I would cut things out of my life that could "possibly" be the reason these tumours formed. I had no research/evidence that these things were connected to the growth of my tumour in any way, but I was willing to avoid certain things I loved to play it safe... but that got old pretty quick. I felt myself longing for things that brought me a little joy, as joy was hard to find for a while.
Since then I have made some small changes in my life, mainly cutting out products that could be endocrine disruptors, but other than that, I have slowly started doing things that I love again. This was able to show me that yet again, time heals and a small activity/hobby can really go a long way for your mental health. A couple things I didn't think I would do again (as ridiculous as that may seem), but have started slowly doing again are exercising/running, dying my hair, using some high EWG products without worrying, etc. These were all things that brought me a little joy in a fairly scary time of my life, and with every day that passes I am feeling more and more like my old self.
Over the last two years, my head has physically healed but I still tend to be very cautious when anyone comes overly close with the fear of hitting my head. In my mind, my head is still very fragile, which is actually far from the truth, but I have learned that that feeling likely won't subside all that much. I still hate when I get goose bumps as my scalp instantly feels tight/sore, and I am ALWAYS trying to cover up my scar where my hair decided not to grow back. All in all, a couple small speed bumps, but I try to remain positive going forward.
There are a couple of pictures below that can sum up the transition from 10 days post craniotomy to 2 years post op.
10 days post craniotomy
2 years post craniotomy
The last two years have been filled with lots of twists, turns and bumps along the way, but overall I am extremely lucky each and every day for the surgical team at London University Hospital and all my friends and family that have been by my side through this all. It wouldn’t have been possible without you!
Now we continue our waiting game. I still haven’t heard back from London in regards to my January scan, but that is good news in itself. I received the MRI from my doctor about a week after the scan that said there was no evidence of disease, which are the magical words we hope for every time. I am assuming that there will be another scan come July but am still waiting on a date/call back from London. If there is any progress within the last two years… it’s that I have only called London one time since January hahah - if you know, you know!!
For now, I focus on the last couple days of school with my students, and look forward to a summer full of health and happiness… and hopefully an MRI date!
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